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Happy Funerals – a seasonal miscellany!

At this Yuletide season it seems right not to be entirely serious, so I thought a few moments of levity, even about funerals, might be forgiven. Unless otherwise stated, they all relate to services I have conducted (with names changed, to protect the not-necessarily innocent!).


Limousine lunacy

Although neither of these was ‘my’ funeral, I was tickled by the idea of the limo that turned up at the wrong address (Shades of “Monty Python & The Holy Grail”, and “I’m not dead yet!”)! Then the limo that arrived at the right address, only to find that the whole family were still in bed!

Football Fanatics

At a family visit, I learned that the deceased had been absolutely committed to Chelsea. Supporting them had virtually been his whole life. So, as we put the service together, I suggested “Blue is the Colour”, which is the Chelsea anthem. The family enthusiastically agreed.

On the day, having explained the reason, I asked the guests to open their Order of Service booklets to the page where the words could be found. “Please feel free to join in – but  certainly won’t, being a Tottenham supporter!”

I’m glad (for reasons that should now be obvious) that I didn’t have to conduct the service of a particular Arsenal supporter, not least because everyone wore Arsenal shirts, and there’s only so far I’m prepared to go!

Daft Dress

I’ve only actually been asked to wear something special at a funeral once. This was for somebody known by everybody as “Greenie”, so the whole family were going to wear green, and would I join in too, please? Of course, I would.

On the day, I came suitably attired, and looked to see what the others were wearing.

Anything but green! Not one of them wore green! Not a hint of it.

What was that all about, then?!


Not all my funerals are as much fun, of course! And, indeed, they can be poignant and moving too. Things DON’T normally go wrong. But they can have their lighter side, and that’s what I have been sharing with you.

I hope you’ve had a smile, and, however you may choose to mark this season, I wish you all the best for the festivities.



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